7-Days Of Healing: Day 6
My legs are hurting so much right now, especially my knees. I feel unstable walking and standing so I’ve been in bed all day. Not to mention I am still dealing with the migraine I gave myself on day 4. It also didn’t help that I had some work-related triggers pop up for me, but I’ll share that after I process it with MY therapist. But that has contributed to the built-up tension from the last week and I need to find relief.
The problem is, finding relief feels really limiting at the moment. I feel like I need a scorching hot shower where I can bawl my eyes out just to let this SHIT out. (Crying is healthy and don’t let anyone tell you otherwise). That feels like the best way I can show my body the RESPECT it deserves. Not forcing it to bottle things up.
I also feel the need to pamper myself. Maybe because Mother’s Day is on Sunday or maybe not, who knows. I just want to feel beautiful when I see me. It’s kinda funny because as I write this, I am tempted to fully walk away and just start a Goddess night routine right now because I am deserving. No, that’s not me being selfish, that is me respecting my body and listening to what it’s asking of me.
It’s asking me to place boundaries tonight and show up for me by focusing on me for the moment. Assuring that my body feels nurtured and loved. My skin is asking for that love and it is honestly getting harder to focus right now. But I am happy to get this out because I was prepared to start cleaning instead of showing up. But NOPE!!!! Me first, at least for the moment. Everything else will be just fine waiting.
I’ve gotten better with this over time, especially since I have Fibromyalgia and literally thinking too much will flare me up like I was jumped by 6 wrestlers. Through consistent therapy, I’ve learned to make that mind and body connection, allowing me to pause and listen to it loud and clear when it asks for rest. However, that does not always mean that I get it right or that my thoughts don’t get in the way. That’s why I’ve fallen in love with writing. For moments just like today where my body is limited and unable to distract me from my own thoughts. I turn to my journal and let go of all of my racing thoughts, hoping to find relief.
So tonight is a night for skin care ( www.preservedbynature.com for anyone who is curious about what I use) and for a Goddess bath where I love myself without limitations. Treating myself how I deserve to be treated because love starts with the self.
-Steph <3
