Hello Healer…
Well then, hello healer. It has been quite some time since the last post and where have I gone? That’s a fair question and I am here to answer it. I’ve been HIT healer!! After completing 7-Days of Healing MYSELF, I was caught off guard by my own experiences and reflections. Like I said, when I created these, I had every intention on completing each day without knowing what each day would present with. WELL CHIIILLLEEEEEEEE!!! I wish I would have better prepared MYSELF for all the things that could have potentially come up for me that week.
Now, how grateful I am to have a therapist working alongside me on my OWN journey to healing is an understatement. However, I recognize that not everyone has that access and sometimes your journey to healing can be a very lonesome one, and THAT is why I am creating this platform. The problem is, I was ready to dive into the work to support others without first making sure I had all the support for myself! Man oh Man! Talk about TRAUMA-RESPONSE am I right? Appeasing & People Pleasing! So as I went through each day, I was stripped of another layer and facing a reflection of myself that was not the best version of me. My EGO! My EGO held the fear of JUDGMENT! The fear of not receiving adequate AFFIRMATION or even CONFIRMATION from those in the audience, waiting to see what I do next. And depending on that response, well I was determining my value, and THAT is where I made the mistake.
I was seeking VALIDATION from the outside world. VALIDATION on an ASSIGMENT that is meant JUST FOR ME! If it is just for me then that means the only validation I need comes from the individual who gave me that assignment. GOD! For you that could be Source, Spirit, Buddha, etc. But for me that is God. And so as I began the 7-Days of Healing, I didn’t take the time to pray for my own journey as I entered the 7-Day challenge. I didn’t think of myself and how I would feel. I was only thinking of others and how I could be ready to POUR INTO THEM! But, I did not realize that my cup wasn’t even FULL YA’LL!!! A MESS!! So I was left depleted at the very end of the week. Professionally & Personally. My body, mind, soul ad spirit were all left in a weakened state and simply VULNEARABLE. So I had to REST.
Well, I am still kinda…. sorta… resting but still preparing for exciting things for us here so do not FRET. I just needed to break the ice and be transparent right now before I just add additional blogs here. Currently, I am on the tail-end of a beautiful TRANSITION in my life that calls for TRANSFORMATION. And TRANSFORMATION will take TIME. Then I am off to a wonderful city-break getaway to REST, REJUVINATE and RETURN!
In the mean time, this blog will be like a shared journal between me and all of you. A place where we are all safe, and we are all welcome. And remember, THROUGH THE MUD, GROWS THE LOTUS. So if you feel stuck in the mud like I do right now, then remember the beautiful Lotus Flower is birthed through mud too!
-S.
